1. the fluctuations of energy

    always forgetting to remember
    what a demanding houseguest
    exhaustion is when i invite her in
    nonetheless memory is superfluous
    in her presence upon arrival
    she knows the combination
    to every physical cell
    i am tangibly made of
    her behavior the perfect mnemonic
    pulling on my arm from hot clasped fingers
    through my wrist, elbow into my shoulder and core
    with the weight of an insistent eight-year-old’s
    whole body tugging you in the direction of
    their soul
    the grudge she carries for my waking mind
    emanating heat melting my flesh with an
    excruciating lack of speed and depth
    into a candlewax stick left too long in the sun
    it yeilds not one drip but only droops
    in exquisite pliable softness
    she leaves then to me
    to satisfy our every
    to lay myself out
    unbend and roll
    across wax paper coolness
    trusted to refind my shape
    altered pleasantly into
    awakened self-

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