No more zombie-ing my way through the morning grooming routine. I learned to make it a game, to pay attention along the way. My shower head drains in myriad skinny streams of water.
I might isolate one strand of the spray and position myself beneath it so it falls, alone, on the middle of my tongue. I cannot not grin just thinking of it.
It falls to such a tickling effect. It is barely bearable. Quite wonderful. Especially when you can, then, rock back and forth, into and back out from under it. Almost orgasmic, almost like my tongue is my mouth’s own… most sensive, sensitive body part.
Wink wink winking water.
Very old and wrinkled grandmother faces are the latest object of sensation for artsy fartsy photographers, including representations of women from all over the world. The more remote the better, actually.
Context. North american nursing homes, not so much. Not so much kitsch. What you see in the background matters. The less sterile the better. Colors and dirt and thirdish world markets.
The camera was not made to be kind to middle aged women’s faces or black dogs or dead bodies. The lens does not hold a kind bone in its skeleton, nothing cute or spooky. No patience for the kooky, the irreverent the unself-consciously enthusiastic but not pretty captured, in stills.
We are here, women with dawning realization that we can’t ignore the questions we first raised when they shoved us under the box painted like a viciously garish yellow school bus.
We are here to challenge your gaze. To suggest you need not constantly be looking at our faces, checking for reassurance reflected back in the cool polished expressions of the good-looking you have been so fortunate to surround yourself with.
Proof. Poof. We are here to suggest it takes more to validate your existence than appearances.
We are here to take pictures of our hands, busy and engaged and moving across all variety of things we encounter, because when we stopped caring about your judgments we found wonder.
So much wonder. So much wonder we discovered. So much wonder we discovered how to wonder about what wonders might still be resting hidden in each you.
You can stumble alongside us stumbling, too. Once in a while we might want to look over at each other, see eyes in deep faces changing. But mostly, we’ll keep walking, hold hands and swinging in amazement at all the messy mess so gross, and harsh, and glorious all around us.