1. listen to see
    look to scratch
    reach to sniff
    smell to touch
    rub close up to hear
    the sound it makes
    finally
    the perfect
    too much

    Tagged #poetry #jillc
     

  2. litmus test {& a view of the pipes undersink}

    i am not sure
    you are human
    until or unless
    you have sobbed
    once on a cold
    bathroom floor

    Tagged #poetry #jillc
     

  3. a bomb of people

    splinters of the crowd
    like shrapnel stuck
    in the giant gut
    pulled up
    over the belt
    and dropped
    to rest upon
    the massive
    table

    water and mud
    like blood around
    oozed out
    ran down the legs
    pooled in glades
    reflecting
    shiny plasma
    at the feet of concrete
    pillars of strength
    grown soggy
    footing
    weakened

    rigid stabbing
    shards of humanity
    clinging to the beast
    burst an underbelly
    as it sags
    melting

    massive humanoid
    silhouette
    facade scraping
    the edge along
    toward the under
    lands on its knees
    flops forward
    first face into
    the floor

    squashing all of them
    beneath
    cramming into them
    skin and fat bleeding
    organs oozing
    suffocating

    buried alive
    and dying
    even as
    they kill
    the hideous
    creature

     

  4. small favors

    like a 
    praying mantis
    to a hummingbird
    love
    i’m sure
    i’m sure
    yes
    i am sure
    she will eat you
    dead
    not alive
    though

     

  5. the charity of self-delusion
    is not an easy one
    to claim deductions on
    come taxing times

    sadly mistaken
    what we took
    for a nonprofit
    organization

    proved an underfunded
    den of ulterior
    motives

    it left us here
    without much to do
    but to try to
    cash in
    on the loss

    Tagged #poetry #jillc
     

  6. typical

    unable to comprehend
    that i might not want it
    under those or any other
    dishonest
    terms

    he pretends
    that he is the source
    and i the recipient
    of said rejection

     

  7. sad truths

    debate in my family
    was silent
    consisted mostly
    of my dad’s opinion
    spoken out loud
    mixed with my inner vehement
    ever growing always evolving
    disagreement
    with him 

    about what resilience
    means what it is

    he said thick skin
    i voted elastic

    he preferred 
    the barrier
    methods

    i favored
    saturation
    feelings ecstatic

    he complained to
    mother repeatedly
    about my sensitivity

    blaming her for having
    created a spoiled brat

    i can hear his two
    flat palms
    banging together
    at each other like
    wild cats as he turns
    his back and wipes
    his hands clean
    of me

    finally
    once and for
    all
    never to see

    his age
    and his mistakes

    and sometimes now
    i can see how you
    are not all that
    nice to me

    finally
    finally
    finally

    Tagged #poetry #jillc
     

  8. hearing the leaden pin drop

    the poor
    hapless
    friendship

    bloated with the empty
    of what we are not
    death gas full
    stiff heavy weighted
    distended knot of not
    bad air glut
    stuffed and crowded
    with silence
    even about what
    we are
    lies this
    nothing
    ness

    quietly
    killing
    all that
    is not
    left
    of

    everything

    willed
    to
    sadless

    haste 

    Tagged #poetry #jillc
     

  9. caught the empty
    exhale the last train
    out for the night

    descending blank space
    making room for me
    in the inner circle
    of void

    where i keep
    my own

    company safe

    heavy on a rope
    dangling out the window
    thrown
    attached to a foot
    into the lake

    exiled breath
    sinking
    into nothing
    's peace

     

  10. conversing
    with the forest
    in search of reminders

    we forget that irony
    is the color of blood red

    my gosh!
    you go backpack camping?!
    alone in the woods?!
    brave woman!

    says the one
    who gave birth
    to her first son
    alone with her husband
    in her own bathtub

     

  11. plural

    i know
    when i grow
    too much
    unnecessary
    big struggle
    because then
    i fail to see
    my privilege
    s

     

  12. how many times
    do you have to
    replay the robot’s
    memory track
    over for him
    before he remembers
    it and recognizes
    it as his

    how many times
    does a human
    tell the same
    story
    over again
    and over
    again
    before they
    believe it

     

  13. first crush

    i met her in kindergarten
    before my boy cousin
    even registered
    as anything other than
    stinky dirty competition
    for affection

    she was a blonde
    farmgirl
    in a white dress
    with bright blue tiny
    flowers all over it
    cinched at the waist
    white bobby socks

    i could not from the very first moment

    decide if
    i wanted more
    to be her
    or to have her
    and from then on
    evermore

    the same dilemma
    or similar

    haven’t heard from her in years
    last i did
    she was a young republican
    divorced and enrolled in military service

    gross
    i am cured
    of her

    now
    but never
    then

    Tagged #poetry #jillc
     

  14. dirt mound and cloud chambered

    in need
    in need of
    in need of easy
    in need of easy alchemy

    magic
    to turn my lawn
    into a vegetable garden, goats
    bees and a small apple
    orchard then construct an earthen
    camera obscura half buried
    half built of stacked
    stones with a pinhole to burn
    the white concave wall inside
    into a reflective
    image drawn
    by light
    poking through
    true as the shape
    of my heart
    through my shirt
    through my blood
    past the dirt

    shining into that opening
    tiny and persistent
    as love

    trees in the woods
    rain and sun

    earthlife

    Tagged #poetry #jillc
     

  15. crawled over

    bleached white wheat
    flour sprinkled with pepper

    grey dust off slate
    gravel

    rocks in the alleyway
    particle-ized
    silk into powder

    sand rendered
    so fine
    so miniaturized
    it feels more

    tender
    than skin

    turn the word
    for the soft
    fabric worms
    spin into a verb

    move a body
    of water like
    water floating
    over water

    into me
    silk into me

    Tagged #poetry #jillc