I traveled to the intergalactic council where they speak an entirely different sort of language but I was allowed to listen in and understand by magic. Afterward, they insisted (though I agreed) there was a need for me to at least try and bring this report back to you.
So without further ado, I bring to you, the following.
When the chief affiliate for the planet Earth stood up to give his report, in particular on the dominant terrestrial life forms, the gist of his message read something like this:
"Liquefied, infinitely pupal, their bodies made up more than halfway by water, the humans are so significantly un-self-aware as to live ninety-nine point eighty-nine percent of their lives pretending they are each a separate entity, rather than mere cells in the body of the community.
As we know, that is not at all how bodies really work because cells are acutely aware of their connection to all other cells even when they are not engaged in the most active functions toward which they serve. The idea that any single neuron along the path between the brain to the hand is independent of any other nerve cell in the path - or of the surrounding cells or of all the body’s cells for that matter - this idea of disconnectedness is absurd to the cells that make up the living flesh. As it is to us. Because as we live and breathe and know, these cells are in constant touch with each other. Each cell is perpetually feeling its tight interdependence with all the other living cells in the body at every moment. That is what DNA is for, it’s a holographic information system.
Sadly, while the humans are equipped with the necessary parts and the complex mental capacities to grasp this, their cultural memes, norms, and standards have effectively eliminated their ability to comprehend themselves and their world in any way that is realistic.
Humans instead turn everything — even love, even interdependence, even connectedness into a zero-sum game of competitiveness. Invented concepts like exclusivity and loyalty make it impossible for them to open to the reality of their infinitely mutual influence on one another. They remain unable to delight in the way that each connection harbors the touch and influence of every other connection that has come before it, and around it. That each touch is an input into the next instance of touching, of connecting. Humans fail to see how their memory and experience connects each of them to all the experiences of every other, present, past and future inseparable.
The only great unique potential humans have in terms of the creatures currently inhabiting earth is their reflective consciousness and ability to communicate with language. But, the language itself seems to have inhibited their ability to be aware of themselves. Or they have allowed it to, at least. Unless we can find some way for them to remove all the false certainty that is clogging up their systems, I can’t see much use for them.
And they are, without any question, a major drain on the ecosystem.”
The next thing on their agenda, is to take a vote.